Grief: 5 Steps to Heal When You Don’t Have Closure.
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These steps can be implemented to help after a devastating incident.
How do you deal with grief?
I hadn’t dealt well honestly, when I had a couple of tough years, where stuff just seemed to keep piling on. Separation, moving, divorce, multiple illnesses and the loss of a beloved pet.
Here are 5 ways to deal with a loss without having closure.
Find an anchor.
Unfortunately I’m alone in this. I live alone, I’m single and therefore have no one to pull me out of rough patches . Fortunately I’m not driving someone else nuts! lol
Make a deal with your partner or friend or family member that you need to get your worries out, but you also need an anchor belief to come back to. Such as; “This is not me, I’m just going through a challenging time!”
Or if this is a situation where you find yourself feeling emotions that are too deep or strong. Find an anchor belief that is positive, or allows a higher power to help. “Please take this guilt/pain/grief from me!” Asking God/Source to take this from you allows you space to free yourself from the heaviness and begin to heal.
Your mind will keep attempting to solve the problem, so here are some ways to anchor to a positive aspect….
PAUSE! If your brain is giving you too much, or giving you useless information visualise the pause button and ask your brain, your mind and/or your ego to have a time out. Your ego is based on survival. You may displace this survival fear onto your pet, and not knowing where your pet is, your ego will be on high alert shouting “Warning! Warning!” Thank your ego for looking out for you and your pet and ask it to only alert you when the threat is SEEN.
BREATHE! Create a time out for you to sit and focus on your breathing once every hour. This is important. You can also pair this with a healthy snack, since you may go on autopilot and forget to eat.
LAUGH! Watch videos or shows that make you laugh. It’s also important to think of, talk about and look at images, videos and stories of your pet. When a relationship ends, or you have a fight with a close friend it’s hard to think past the grief at times. It may seem like every little thing reminds you of that person.
It’s helpful to find levity and release yourself from rigid energy or thoughts and enjoy some mind numbing humor! There’s a good pause button!!
STRENGTH! I watch talks and videos from my fav motivational speakers. Such as Gary Vaynerchuk, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins etc. Their energy and vibe is infectious! I begin to feel that NOTHING is impossible! 😀
FOCUS! Give your noggin another problem for it to focus on. Throw yourself into a new project, work, your kids, your pets, knitting… well, anything! Get busy. Do what you need to, to feel as though you are being efficient, but manage your time to get the rest of your life in order as well. Focus on clearing space, cleaning space in your home as well as focus on the material around you. Being fully present prevents your brain from wandering off to create horrible possibilities.
Check your connections.
Whether you believe in God, Source, or Buddha connect to your faith frequently and ask for clarity and peace.
Ask your connection to your Source if the connection itself is clear/free, or is it constricted/blocked?
Manage your time, AND energy. How much energy are you putting into the ‘worry jar’? Give yourself a clear outlook on where your energy should be going. Remember the choices you make today set up the reality that is created tomorrow. That doesn’t mean you can NOT be sad that your fur baby isn’t with you, but try not to ‘sit’ in that energy.
Universal Energy likes movement, so make sure you change up the scenery and allow your energy to taste some different environments and scenescapes.
As you move, remember that this will not be where you are in a day or two. You can change your energetic state and emotional state to not be in the grief you are in now! You are not the situation you are in. You are not the divorce. You are not the job loss. You are not the cause of the bullying at work. You are not a victim. You are NOT what is moving around you now. You have the capability to change bad to good in your life – it’s one choice away.
Write down what you are grateful for, and review regularly. Fill the space of your home with energy of gratitude. Allow fond memories of all who have loved and played there. Allow playful energy to come to you and to your home. Clear the way for love and clarity to come to you.
Have I done all that I can? Am I enough? Am I to blame?
Wow, these questions really feel heavy, right?
Forgive yourself and accept that you have done everything that you could for the situation. And you have to let God/Source take over.
Breathe in, and say the words “I forgive myself!” How does that feel? Do you feel any tightness anywhere in your body? Release the breathe and try again. Release all tension and trust that you have done everything that is in your power for the situation to come to a peaceful conclusion.
I am so sorry if you are grieving. I pray that you find comfort in this, and I pray that you find peace.
If this is a pet related grief, I want to acknowledge you as a parent of a fur baby and tell you I’m grateful for people like you who love, respect and take care of the domesticated link to Mother Nature.
Tell me what you do to get over a period of grief. Do you hide, go on a long walk, do something physical like kickboxing? 😉
I’d love to hear from you!
Love and light! Xx0o
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